This Respect Thing

I saw this post this morning, and I screen grabbed it. It was like an alarm sounding in my head: Respect people who do not deserve it. This is a complete opposite to the ‘respect is reciprocal’ phrase. Or is it clause? 

Sometimes I want to just to cry for people who have no sense of value towards other people, some times it’s hard to ignore their silliness, especially when they’re talking nasty to someone close to me.

This one is not even particular to just male or female species, it’s everywhere- the disrespect and lousiness. And it could be hard to respect people like that! Especially when they feel better talking people down.

But what can I do? Pictures like the one above remind me about what to do, remind me that I live above (forget that I beat up someone a while back), that it’s their problem, and I don’t have to make it mine, and that there will always be people like that in the world.

I should just make this my wall paper, so that it won’t be out of  my sight and eventually out of my mind.

Have a great day.


Suya Tales

I was at a suya spot one evening this week. The seller and I have become familiar, because every other night, at least another 100 naira leaves my allowance and enters his money plate.

I had made my order and after expressing my disapproval at his not having the ‘breast’ of the animal, I stood back to avoid the smoke from the grill. As he cut one piece, I took it, rolled it in dry pepper and threw it into my mouth.

Only this time, I managed to throw the pepper first before the suya. My airway got choked.

And that was when drama started.

I started to cough. I removed the meat in my mouth, thought it was a cough I could get out of my chest in a couple of seconds and go on with the suya. No way. In the minutes that followed, I felt my self getting into heart attack mode, with that alakoba piece of meat still in my hand. I held on to it, hoping to conquer.

I could not breathe. Whenever I tried, all I did was struggle to take in very little air. I was wheezing. ‘Water’ i was saying in my mind, ‘water’. Suya men never sold water. They just stood behind their table and sold meat till it finished, so I didn’t blame him for not having water. I just wanted to tear all my clothes off my body and let the air work wonders.

I was dancing on the walkway, choking on pepper, but I knew I was blessed of God when the suya man asked me if I wanted water. I took a satchet from him, finished it, and kept clearing my throat to get the pepper out. 

All this while, that suya was in my right hand.

I went to sit on the floor at the entrance of the faculty of science- we call it White House, because it’s white. Used to be white. When I felt like my breath was even enough, I put the suya in my mouth and savoured the fruit of my labour. Clearing my throat, I went to meet the seller.

 I had a smile on my face. He smiled too and said how he was surprised that a little cough could become something big, and told me he would buy kuli-kuli pepper next time- that one wasn’t as hot as this.

I said all was well, paid for my meat and left, all the while feeling happy that I conquered the suya that wanted to run away.


Suya- grilled meat 

Alakoba-  something or someone that can put you in trouble

Kuli-kuli- a local snack

Now you see me

Hello beloved, I’m sorry I haven’t been around for a while, my data finished. It’s been almost a week, but my mind’s always been here.

As in, here.

It’s Wednesday, I’m not sure I have classes, but I’m sure I feel sleepy, I’ve had overnight rehearsals.

Yes! I should take you along on my rehearsal journeys; they’re the funniest. Today I perform in a stage play where I act as a ‘sister’ whose obsessed with her Bishop 

my name is Sister Vero in the play. If we can get the pictures, I’ll post them here.

Tomorrow, I act as an old woman- I act a Nigerian version of Madea, in a play for a fellowship on campus. Pictures too, if I get them. How have you been? What have you been up to? 


Your Girlfriend.

Rains and Lazy Days

This morning and the rain that came with it will stay in my memory for a long time- till it stops. Schooling in an area that is close to the mountains is synonymous to heavy rain and lazy feet. So I’m here, trying to finish up an interesting (surprisingly!) assignment on ‘Antigone’ and Greek Tragedy, and my roommates are singing happily about how they won’t attend lectures, because of the rain.

It just occurred to me that my mum doesn’t know I have a blog. A growing blog, that isBefore I go any further, I have to say a BIG thank you for following this blog, you are the best. I say this because she knew I was on blogspot before- I opened it with her router, but I never bought a modem that could keep up with my data use, and I also didn’t have the phone app (computers aren’t always easy to carry around). She also doesn’t know that I stopped operating the blog when it kept hanging on my phone.

Assignment done, I’m sitting outside class, alongside my other errant classmates who came late to make-up class. Our lecturer sent them out of the class because they didn’t have aprons. I came late. And I had no apron. So I joined the growing community. I must say though, that I don’t feel happy with myself for going late to that class. I mean, I love that class, most of the classes for this semester, and I enjoy them. I can’t even blame this one on the rain, it’s all me.

So I have an hour extra to stay out of all the fun going on in the class right now, and I’m updating the blog. Next class started. I mustn’t be late for this one!

journeys and destinations

I have been stranded for a while in school, having to squat in a room where all I do is bring out a mattress that I keep in the kitchenette to sleep at night. My bags are also in the kitchenette. I had to share my ‘load’ in different places so that I won’t have to move so many things when I’m told my welcome has been overstayed. I don’t cook, I always buy food to eat because I have no place to keep my foodstuff when I buy them. And my dressing! This is the part where I thank God for Jeans.

It is affecting my school work-thankfully we just started the semester, so I’ve been telling myself some truths.
It affected my thought pattern; if I wanted to do anything, I had to puase and think about how not to get tired in case I didn’t have a place to sleep when I was done for the day.

It won’t be completely honest of me though, if I don’t admit that the owners of the room are friendly and accommodating and have become my friends- partly because I was friendly too.

This is why this post is titled journeys and destinations: I have made trips to the office of the Dean of students Affairs, apparently I am not the only one on the path. We’re about 2,500 in the same boat of no hostel accommodation. We all want the same thing, but we’re all going about it differently. 

Another person even pasted a memo about how the Vice Dean had been selling the hostel accommodation for over 200% the amount it was sold for.

Other people already have rented apartments out of campus, but would prefer to get a hostel space, so they can sell it to people like us- for at least a 100% increase.

I’ve been talking to myself of late, telling myself I have to enjoy this uncomfortable place, it’s part of the journey. The careful sitting on a person’s bed so they don’t snap at you, the constant movement from one person’s ‘corner’ to another, so you don’t begin to look like you have decided to share their space with them (sic). The coming to the room late so that you’d only have to sleep when you get to the room, and not do much else. 

It has not been funny. 

But this is what I learnt, and am still learning: There will always be uncomfortable times, not everything will be rosy: there will be times when you want something and can not get it, because, it’s like a lottery- one winner in a million hopefuls. There will be the days when everything DOES NOT resemble your life as you know it. In all these times, how you handle it says a lot about you, who you are.

We all want different things, but when we haven’t got it, are we unapproachable? Are we pessimistic? Are we shut out from every one else, then ‘open for business’ when we get it?

I’m still learning to open up, and enjoy this uneasy ride, after all, the journey’s as important as the destination. 

That said, I feel inspired enough to have my bath and get ready for lectures- they start by 1pm, but just incase a snail ‘bites’ me, better to get ready now.