Hello? Anybody home?

Are there times when you just wonder why your life is moving so slowly? And if you’re stuck in a place? And if you seem to keep making the same errors over and over again? And you think even God would shake his head as he’s watching you?

Hi, my name is Amaka, and we’re me.

Times like this, I just wonder: what is happening?! I’m floating through motions. Like you know you should do the right thing, but somehow, the wrong thing is easier to do.

I used to cry before, but these days I just feel empty, like I have cried, cried, cried, I want to ‘save God the effort of having extra water’…

…does that even make sense?

And no, there is no option of acting like you did nothing wrong, because, YOU DID SOMETHING WRONG! as long as your conscience is alive. Then you begin to ask yourself: am I really a Christian? Am I really doing what makes God happy? Am I living in God’s purpose for me? Answers get muddled up at this time, cos nothing seems clear.

Trying to find myself in the midst of all the ups and downs I see myself go through.

Apostle paul couldn’t have said it better when he said it in Romans 7:13-25.

Now, do I feel better knowing people are in the same ‘feeling-box’ as me? ¬†Not so much. But do I need to ask for help from God? Yes Please.

Send me some light, Lord. I need some super energy saving lamp.

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